Re-write 27 Page Golf Ebook 01.04.08
I have written an ebook about the mental side of golf. I am not a copywriter and have been told by my partner (who is responsible for the marketing of the ebook), that it has been written so badly, he would not allow it to be marketed, until he is happy with it.
I need a ‘GREAT’ copywriters to review the 27 pages, and write it in a style that makes you want to keep reading. I have listed below the comments that my partner wants addressed… please review them:
On the good side
Layout…. a LOT more pleasant, and starting to look professional and like the author cares!!
Questionable…
still a disjunction in the colour of the font.
And I dont understand the choice of photographs and locations. it would appear to be totally random
The front page picture should communicate the benefit of the book(eg a ball rolling into the hole and hte guy cheering!! …just to make them read on.
Or the feature….a picture of a golfer concentrating..with some graphic to highlight the idea that it is the mind…like a cross hair over the head.
BAD!!!
What disappoints me is you dont seem to have changed the text. Not a word from how I remember some of it. Not even the stuff I took time to explain back in january - I rewrote someof the stuff on reverse visualisation to make it less boring…and more conversational and more enticing but there it is …word for word the same as it was.
Try reading it out loud!! and you will see just how disjointed it is.
ANSWER ME HONESTLY Is that really what you would say to me , if
I was sat next to yout and you wanted to explain it to me?…first you have to interest me!! to listen!
So Same message as always seemingly ignored….chatty & fascinating first, educational second.
Start that process at the beginning Even the titles send you to sleep. Who would read anything called “breathing”,
Each of the secrets needs to be written as a fascinating blind bullet…. lure them in….
Dont give the subject away make them read it….
eg
“Before you even touch your clubs!!
(Breathing)
“The only thing that matters when you swing ..”
(Focusing on now)
“Your perfect round again and again….
(Relive your best shots).
“Practise golf anywhere without a club !”
(Mental rehearsal)
etc etc
Acceptance statement
Process not outcome
Reverse visualisation
So It comes down to one question…seeing through my eyes of a customer would I want to pass that on to my golfing friends
in its present form the answer is still no
M
End of partners comments.
I have attached the ebook so you can see what work needs to be done. As this is not a big job, I don’t expect your bids to be very high. The product that this ebook is promoting can be seen at www.miracle-step.com this may help you to understand the style of writing required, as this was written by my partner.
Finally, and this is the most important aspect of this project, my partner has to be happy with the final draft (in word format please), before payment is made, this should not pose a problem, as you have his recommendations as to how to improve it, in this posting and you’ve seen the style he writes in on the website mentioned earlier.
I look forward to working with you very shortly.
Kindest Regards
Robert
